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So I done recorded a whole day

Forgot to Press Record

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gone podcast and never hit record. Okay, let me get into it. Okay, this is episode two of Where Are My Keys podcast by Vic Barwu. And this episode is called Where Are My Keys? Where are My Keys?

This ONE Thing...

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So original, right? Okay. So last Thursday I went into my sewing room to do one thing. Just one. I needed to thread my sewing machine so I could hem a pair of pants for my baby girl. Now, mind you, these pants have been sitting on my ironing board for weeks, waiting for me to hem them. And the last time I tried to sew, the needle was doing something really weird, which reminds me. I have a whole other story about me, my sewing machine, some paramedics, and my daddy wearing a pair of Incredible Hulk green boxer briefs. Don't ask. We'll come back to it later. Back to Thursday. Sewing room. Threading the machine. So I get the machine threaded and I do a test stitch. And the top stitch is beautiful. Then I flip the fabric over. Lent. Just lint. Linty. And so I'm like, what's going on? Now I need to find my tools. Now I need to take the machine apart. And now I need to clean out all of this lint. So I clean the machine and I look up. And an hour has passed. And then I started doing something else. What was it? Honey, I have absolutely no idea. But do you know what I didn't do? Him the pants. Yeah. They're still sitting on the ironing board, right where they've been for weeks. So I went into the room to hem a pair of pants. And I came out with a very clean, clean, honey. Clean as a whistle. Are whistles clean though? Clean as the board of hell. Clean! Sewing machine. An entirely different agenda and absolutely no progress on the original assignment. And that's, my dear dollies, is the kind of everyday chaos we're talking about today. Welcome to Where Are My Keys.

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Where are my keys?

unknown 2:32

Found them in my fridge.

Welcome to the BRAINHIVE

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Greetings and salutations, dollies. Welcome back to Where Are My Keys? I'm your host, Vic Bar Wu. And welcome to the Brain Hive, because that's what I'm calling this little community we're building as we figure out these brains of ours together. On our last episode, I told y'all about how I found out I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 46 years old. I'm 49 at the time of this recording. When you hear this recording, which I plan to launch on October

I'm the Birthday -- And, it's ADHD Awareness Month

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6th. October 6th is my 50th birthday, y'all. Yay! I'm the birthday. I'm the birthday. And October is ADHD awareness month, you guys. Do y'all see how all of this worked out? Look, look at God, working things out. Anyway, I have flown too close to the sun. Let me bring

My Everyday Life

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it back in.

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Yeah. Welcome to Where My Keys.

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Today we're talking about my everyday life and how ADHD works. Because apparently it is possible to spend an entire hour accomplishing something and still not accomplish the thing you actually set out to do. Exhibit A, my baby girl's pants. And for those of you who are new here, Baby Girl is my youngest daughter. She's 19. And her pants, they're still sitting on the ironing board. But listen, the sewing room is just one example. I have many

Meandering & Piddling

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more. I work from home, so I spend a good portion of my day meandering throughout the house. Meandering. Isn't that such a lovely word? Or is my sunshine, my mama she calls it, piddling. So I meander and I piddle throughout the house all day. I'm losing ish, I'm finding other stuff. I'm picking up something I put down three days ago, putting something else

Hootin' & Hollerin'

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away, because I decided it needs to be in a safe place. And then when I actually need it, I have no earthly idea where that safe place is. But here's the thing: even if you can't see me wandering through my house, you can definitely hear me. Because I am very, very noisy, and I do mean noisy. My baby girl refers to it as my hootin' and hollering, hootin' and hollering. And honestly, that is the most accurate description available. Because if you're in my house, you never ever ever have to wonder whether I've awakened for the day. Because one thing's for certain and two things for sure, you will hear me. Because I make all kinds of noises. I sing, I talk to myself, and yes, yes, I answer. Because sometimes you need to consult with somebody who understands what the hell you're talking about. That's me. And the songs, ciao, chow. I'll start singing an actual song, and somewhere along the way, the lyrics just become a big original. And I sing them loudly, confidently, even, with absolutely, absolutely no regard for whether I'm singing the correct words. And don't let you say something that reminds me of a song. You could be in the middle of telling me something very important. And if you say a phrase that happens to be a lyric I recognize, well, we're singing now. But when I say there's always music playing in my head, I do mean always.

What's Playing in Your Head?

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When I first got diagnosed, I told my baby girl about it. And this child decided she was going to test me. And so for about a week, she would randomly ask me, What's playing in your head? Oh, don't threaten me with the good time, honey. Cause I never faltered and I had a song for her every single time. Didn't matter what I was doing, didn't matter what she asked, because there is always a song playing. Now, whether I knew the actual lyrics is an entirely different conversation, but the music, baby, the music never stops. So I've decided to introduce y'all to the resident DJ in my

DJ Dopamine

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brain. And it is DJ Dopamine.

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Where am I doing dilly? I cannot find my freaky key. I cannot find my freaky key.

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Where did I put my keys?

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DJ Dopamine does not take requests. She does not follow a playlist. She does not care whether anyone else is enjoying the music. DJ Dopamine is just spinning whatever record happens to be available at the moment. Sometimes it's a real song, and sometimes it's a vicor original. Sometimes it's just one line of a song on repeat for absolutely no reason at all. And other times, the song just changes in the middle of the damn song. Between the hootin' and hollering and random concerts and talking to myself, my brain is already doing the absolute

My Keys Are WHERE?!!!

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most. So when you add in me wandering throughout the house losing stuff, oh baby, my keys never stood a chance. And so now we're on the subject of losing things. Y'all. My keys. There are not enough numbers on this earth to adequately count how many times I've lost my damn keys. When I was first diagnosed, I had a card that was the same age as baby girl. Old. Well, not really. She just 19, yeah. You know, that's old for a card, alright? Anyway. So we're talking about one actual key. You know, the one that you physically put into the ignition. And because I know I lose my keys, I purposely put a key rack next to the door. A designated location. A system. Now, tell me why I would still end up running through the house like a wild bat looking for my keys. Now, I have one of those 21st century cars, you know, the ones with the push button start. And I will have gotten myself together, taken my Adderall, honey, put my shoes on, got my laptop, got my tote bag, everything. Get in the car, push the button, ding, ding, ding. No, remote detected. So now I've got to get out of the car and do the whole, where are my keys? And which bag are they in, dance? Again. But let me tell y'all about this one time. Because this one right here, this is the reason this podcast is called Where Are My Keys? Picture it. Come home from work one evening. I'm on the phone, kicking with somebody, it's probably my mama. Go on about my evening, make some dinner, watch some HGTV, go to bed, get up the next morning and do it all over again. And of course, it's time for the dance. Where are my keys? Check all of my usual spots, my bags, the hook that's designated for the keys, the entryway table, nothing. Now I'm getting a little concerned. So I go back outside and I check the car. No keys. So then I start to retrace my steps. Laundry room, check. Dining room, check. Kitchen. I'm in the kitchen. Checking the counters. Check the trash. Because yes, I have found my keys in the trash before. Please, the judgment, it must cease. End it now. Check the sink, y'all. Check the garbage disposal. I don't know. Listen, keys could have been anywhere. At this point, I'm desperate. I'm desperate. I'm desperate. And I worked myself up into a sweat, y'all. And I'm thirsty. I'm hot. I'm sweaty. I'm a woman of a certain age. I can't find my keys. And I open up the refrigerator to get some water. What do you think I found? In

Real Talk

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the refrigerator. My keys. My keys. Welcome to my life. I know this is funny, and trust me, I can laugh about it now. But when you're standing in your house already running late, tearing through every bag you own, looking for something you know you just had, it ain't always funny. Especially when it happens over and over and over again. And that's the part I want to talk about for a minute. Because it's not always just about losing your keys. It's the frustration. It's the time you lose looking for things. It's knowing you had every intention of doing something and somehow not getting it done. And sometimes it's the way that you start talking to yourself because of it. Because sometimes you're asking, why can't I just get my shit together? Especially when you've spent years hearing things like, Why don't you just make a list? Or why don't you just put things back where they belong? And you're thinking, ma'am, I would love to. That's literally the goal. The intention is there, the execution, not so much. And that's where things can get complicated. And when it happens over and over again, it can start changing how you see yourself. Remember when I talked about my

Creating Systems

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one-year ADHD anniversary crash out and how I felt like my brain was betraying me? That was real tough. So I'm learning that it's not always enough to create a system. I have to figure out whether that system actually works for me. For example, because I lose track of my keys so much, I made a sign. Very, very cute sign. Super cute. Had a little avatar, honey. She was cute. She has on a little blazer, she's got some little shorts on, honey. She's real cute. And I taped it on my door. So I have to look at it before I leave the house. And so it reminds me to check for some things. My keys, my totes, and my outside shoes. Because we're not gonna get into how many times I've left the house wearing my house slippers. Not a bonnet, but I have gone out with my house slippers. Listen the judgment. I I'm I I feel it. Stop, stop, stop. Anyway, but the sign, it works. Until it didn't. Because guess who lost her keys this very morning? Me. The woman who made the sign. The woman

Learning to Adjust When Systems Don't Work

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who taped it to the door. The woman who is currently recording a podcast called Where Are My Keys. And that's the thing, y'all. Having ADHD doesn't mean I can't create systems because clearly I can. But creating a system and consistently using that system are two entirely different assignments. So I'm learning to keep adjusting instead of deciding I'm a failure

Brainhive Question of the Week

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every time something stops working. Because I can laugh at myself without making myself the punchline. So, Brainhive, I need to know what is the most ridiculous place you've ever found something you lost. I know somebody listening has found their keys in the kitchen cabinet or spent 10 minutes looking for their phone while talking on it. And don't ask me how I know. Cause I know. Cause I did it too. Uh-huh. Anyway, I want to hear about it. So comment below or send me an email at hello at wherearmykeyspod.com. And if you spent years wondering why these little everyday things seem so difficult sometimes, I really hope you'll give yourselves a little grace while you're figuring it out. We're learning, we're

Outro

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laughing, and apparently we're looking for our keys while doing it. And that was enough ADHD for one day. I hope you laughed a little, learned something about yourself, or at least had one moment where you said, girl, me too. If you enjoyed hanging out with me, follow the show, leave a review, and send this episode to somebody whose brain also has 5011 tabs open. And until next time, be curious about your brain. Give yourself some grace. And go find your keys. Mine are probably in the refrigerator.